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Let's talk about sex.
As a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach, my writing explores the powerful connection between sexuality, embodiment, and personal transformation. I explore a variety of topics including:
- Sacred sexuality and Neo-Tantra
- Adult sex-education
- Religious decolonization
- Sensual embodiment practices
With an approach rooted in deep empowerment, my goal is to inspire others to reclaim their erotic selves, embrace their sensuality, and rewrite the stories around sex, style, and self-expression. Scroll down for a taste of some of my best work.
What Penis Size Has to do With Monogamy
May the best sperm win.
In the long arc of human anthropology, we have not always been monogamous. This may come as a surprise to you.
In earlier times in human history, women were known to seek several partners when they were ovulating, which improved their chances of healthy offspring — the best gift we can give the next generation.
While OB-GYNs joke that cervixes are good for two thing, having babies and getting cancer (No joke. My beloved OB said this to me 🙄), the cervix has a curious lesser known role: sifting semen.
Babygirl and The Eroticism of Risk
A deep dive into how an affair awakens a hidden self and challenges the limits of vulnerability.
Recently my lover and I saw Babygirl, a film written and directed by Halina Reijn where Nicole Kidman plays Romy, a woman who has it all and risks losing it in an illicit affair with a young intern.
Babygirl brings up some pretty big topics—sexual dissatisfaction in long term relationships, anorgasmia, BDSM, kinksters, affairs, older women / younger men dynamics—and they manage to tie it up neatly after an hour 45. It’s real and raw.
Here’s my take on Babygirl, from a Sexologist’s perspective. (Contains spoilers!)
Who needs a pink pill (female Viagra) when you have this.
Viagra is the little blue pill that revolutionized sex for men, grossing billions since its launch. There is no comparative pink pill for women. But I can do you one better...
In 1989, Big Pharma accidentally stumbled upon Viagra. They were developing a blood pressure medication and found a curious, consistent side effect: erection.
A stroke of luck. The truest happy accident for menkind that’s ever been. And just like that, the blue pill was born.
For years, women have been sold a bill of rights that they are the demure sex. The ones to wrest sex from. To bed a woman requires convincing. (Because sex wouldn’t be her idea…?)
Forbidden Fruit: The Dark Side of Mormon Sexuality
Unveiling the Momtok sex scandal and exploring themes of sex, shame, and consent.
When you grow up in a high demand religion like Mormonism as I did, sex is something that is always kept under wraps.
When my sex drive started to rise like a phoenix as a tween, my desire took flight. The church tried to stamp out this carnal impulse, but as Carl Jung notably said, what we resist persists.
So when we get a glimpse into the secret sex lives of Mormon women, everyone takes notice. 👀
The Pussy is a Portal
Disclaimer: I use the word pussy in this essay. That word might make you uncomfortable, and if it does, I invite you to sit with it and see what you can learn about yourself.
Every human on the planet comes through a womb, and in order to be born, is moved through the birth canal / vagina, when it emerges into the world. (The exception? Cesarean deliveries).
The vagina has a process called tenting, where it lengthens and extend during arousal. This is facilitated through relaxation and blood flow, and it allow a penis or toy to enter. In the case of childbirth, tenting plays a role, though the cervix (the barrier between the vagina and the womb) dilates significantly to allow the baby to pass through.
When I stop to marvel at birth and consciousness and the arrival of new life on the planet, it boggles my mind. The pussy is nothing short of cosmic, mysterious, and other worldly. Anything less does not do the female body justice. Period.
How to Codify a Woman's Body for Pleasure
Ways to get her in the mood, build erotic energy, and make her beg for more.
Codify: verb. Arrange into a systematic code. For our purposes, to codify a woman’s body is to create a reliable code for building erotic energy.
Alright friends. I have good news and bad news. Bad news first.
It’s practically impossible to codify a woman’s body.
Yes, you can map a body for pleasure. And I highly recommend to map your own body to discover new things that you didn’t know you liked — and your lover(s) body, as well.
However. When it comes to finding a recipe that you can follow every time to help her reach orgasm: here’s the kicker. It isn’t going to look the same every time.
The Truth About Waistbands and Your Pelvic Floor
The surprising way your clothes impact your physical and sexual well-being.
Let’s be honest. We all love a good pair of jeans that hug our curves perfectly. (Whether you’re the wearer or the observer!) But what if that perfect fit is secretly impacting your pelvic floor and your sex life?
Hold on. What is the pelvic floor again? I know I have one, but…
The pelvic floor is a series of hammock-shaped muscles that hold the reproductive organs, bladder and bowels. A functioning pelvic floor does five key things:
What to Do with Your Rage
A how-to guide to unleash it responsibly and move from anger to action.
Years ago, I belonged to a women’s group where we read Women Who Run With the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. When we read the chapter on rage, I was surprised to find that I couldn’t access any rage in my experience — yet the other women had plenty. I had been recently emancipated from my religion and was still thawing.
Let me tell you. The rage is rising now.
Chances are you don’t need to be reminded how women’s rights and body autonomy are under seige on the political stage.
The Myth of Penis Size: What Really Matters in the Bedroom
There's an endless debate about penis size and what women want. May the record show: size does not equal satisfaction.
Recently I went to see Heretic, a horror film featuring two Mormon sister missionaries who knock on the wrong door and are lured into a deadly game of cat-and-mouse. Religious debate, mansplaining and chaos ensue.
The film opens with two sister missionaries sitting on a park bench, talking about penis size.
That penis size can spark conversations between two chaste (albeit fictional) sister missionaries tells you a thing or two about how prevalent the size debate is.
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